Yeah no one will probably read this, but I have to get out my feelings somehow... Get ready for a dump of my life. Yeah I've been feeling down lately. I feel like barely anyone likes me even with my own family. Almost every day I feel like people are taunting me. Even when their teasing me playfully it feels like they hate me. I always find myself asking my friends if I'm annoying them, and I always feel like I'm being an asshole to them and I don't know why! It also feels like I make everyone angry at me. Like if I do a tiny thing like spill a bag of goldfish they get pissed at me. Why do I feel so alone... That feeling just tears me apart. I also keep making fun of myself. I point out all the stupid things I do and make them like everyone going to notice them. I call myself crazy for talking to myself, but its like the only person I can talk to and it makes me feel like I might be going insane and I tell myself to stop. Then a girl in school clung to me because I was one of the few people that was nice to her. Now tons of people hate me for sticking up for her. She had a lot of shit happen to her and medical stuff which was why she was made fun of. When she hangs out with me I have to try to control her and deal with myself too. I want to tell her that some of the things she does isn't helping and she should stop it, but I don't know how and I don't want to hurt her feelings. One thing she said to me was "Why is she looking at me like I'm a freak?!" how am I supposed to answer that. I also feel anti social I never hang out with my friends, I don't listen to the stuff they do, and I never know what the hell their talking about sometimes. I hate it when I turn in homework late, its so hard to focus on it tough. What also angers me is on a test I know every thing, but I'm just so slow that I barely ever finish it. I'm always the last one by like 10 minutes it makes me feel so stupid! I don't want to feel like those people who say the cliche "Oh my life is horrible every one hates me theirs nothing but darkness feel for the sad depressed emo!" I don't want to make this a big deal because it's not. I just want someone to tell me they understand how I feel right now that's all.
So here's a story of whats going on in my brain if you've decided to read this. Please don't think of this as annoying and just another dumb overreacted poem or whatever.